Today is one of those days where you feel like all you do is pointless and never good enough. I feel insignificant and a bit helpless. I know it’s wrong to feel this way because the forgiver makes ways for all those who love him to come out alright. It’s just hard to cling to that today. I’m not sure why. I’m trying to do something but there are so many people who already do it way better than me. I feel embarassed and pathetic for even doing it at all. As long as i keep right with God and with my soulmate then i’ll be ok. I feel that The Lord will do something with me. It’s just the inbetween parts that kill me. Just use me God. Use us. I’m coming to spend some time with you now.

Waltz around the room with a glaze in your stare.
In your tuxedo suit.
I’ll give it a name.
Lower defenses.
I’ll lower the casket.
Open the door and open the grave.
Murder.
Now you’re doing the waltz with your murderer.
Mediocrity is the killer.
You find yourself helpless.
Christ is not a fashion, fleeting away.
He laid emeralds in her eyes,
but I’d already tried a braclet made of gold
and a scarlet thread around her wrist.
And everything was wrong so we sang sentimental songs.
Oh, how seldom we belong, but how elegant our kiss. and we painted crooked lines but we danced in perfect time to a love so much refined, we know not what it is. so like the dullen wine we poor into a grief we’d known before, but never quite like this.
all i know now is regret. she follows like a silhouette of a cobblestone behind me. she has nothing left to say except to innocently ask, her voice delicate as glass. do you see me when we pass?
but i continue on my way.